My Russian readership:

I don’t know who they are individually, but the readers of this blog from Russia have been very valued a lot to me as they so frequently top the list of my viewers even in comparison to India. Such a list, as per Google Analytics, runs in a cyclic order like some times it is India on the top followed by Russia and America, then Russia followed by India and America, and yet then at times America followed by India and Russia, of course with several other countries, but most often it has been Russia with highest readership. Some time back I felt some what disappointed to notice that my geographical location of Russian readership almost showed blank on the map, and this position continued for nearly two weeks plus. I wish I had personally known them to know from them if there was some thing I wrote otherwise which detracted them from showing their usual interest in my blog. And then just the other day, I was amazed to see them back on the map and statistics in the same measure they did it earlier. I extend to them my sincere regards through this post of mine, of course also to my valued readers in different other countries. How quixotic it sounds to be that I love the people I don’t know personally, be it Russia, America, United Kingdom, Brazil, China, Germany or any other country on the world map. Blogging is such a mystical phenomenon after all where people so closely inter-act without personally knowing each other.

Technorati Tags: russia,china,america,india,blog,blogging,readers,audience,phenomenon,mystical,mydiary

When compulsions drag a person to commit suicide!

Life is precious. Only lucky souls, say the people, get birth as a human being. It could be any factor that controls the cycle of getting born, living for a particular span and then dying. The truth remains that there is no body on earth who opts for death as against life, but this is equally trued that there are the persons who do opt for death. A friend of mine, who is suffering from various ailments and is awe-fully confronted with multiple economic problems both in his business and at the house hold level, shocked me when he said the other day that he is feeling like committing suicide. I was taken aback to hear this and felt too perturbed too. He is physically a wreck, mentally sick alarmingly, and miserably passing through the worst possible economic conditions disabling him to meet the routine needs of himself and his family. Otherwise known to be a courageous person full of anxiety to lead a pleasant life, he trembles when he talks, and charged with an emotional upsurge, he finds it too difficult to express himself. I consoled him telling that life is to live a full term of it, and it just can’t be eliminated whatever be the circumstances and the situations. I also told him that there are people who are placed in much worse a situation than himself, and he must have the patience, courage and conviction to live without surrendering to the compulsions. My counselling did work to some extent but utter disgust and frustration was still writ large on his face, and there lies my worry as I have seen cases where desire for death exceedingly surpassed the anxiety for life.

Technorati Tags: life,death,suicide,compulsions,situation,ailments,health

When the heart is too heavy:

It is pinching and piercing, tumultuously twitching and heavily weighing, when the heart goes astray on some emotional surcharge. Emotional upheavals, say the sadhus, mahatmas and the yogis, have to be controlled, checked and effectively monitored by an individual self to secure peace and solace. It’s not that easy, they should know. I have seen many a mahatmas, highly perturbed mentally and moving berserk physically, unable as they are to control themselves on emotional front. Many of them are a kind who get irritated at the first instance that occurs to them. I have seen a naga sadhu losing his temper on a disciple of his simply for the reason that the offering(dakshina)she made to him was too meagre in terms of cash. There is hardly any place any where, where one can go to procure some peace. One has to struggle with his/her own heart, when the whirl wind of a stormy sort of thoughts overtakes the whole body system. One may  even himself/ herself go for some compromise with the tortuous feelings as struggle alone may not suffice. I take it like there is no go against this sort of state of heart and  mind, and the individual concerned has to take it to himself as his fate. In the midst of torments and upheavals, I as one, feel like submitting to the immanent will, the Destiny.

Technorati Tags: mydiary,peace,mind,heart,storms,destiny,compromise,sadhus

Back to childhood

Much at an advanced level of my age, the more I grow older every day the more I develop feelings like a child does hankering for love from every one –a love that is serene and without any conditions whatsoever. It’s not that I only think of my childhood days I rather very often get fully engrossed into those days with a mind having no kind of malice or reservation. Thoughts sublime and chaste, simple and pure, subtle and enchanting soothingly hover around like a sea breeze. Possibly this is how the very cycle of life moves on passing through one ladder after the other culminating to a halt surrendering to the Supreme.
Link:http://gallery-neelkanth.blogspot.in/2012/02/trace-child-in-you-calling.html

Technorati Tags: supreme,cycle of life,child,childhood

How tedious a job is it to design a blog

Nodding a heed to the advice of experts I thought I should have a well designed blog capable of giving necessary posts a noticeable look. I attended to the task faithfully and sincerely doing whatever best I could to secure the desired result. At one stage I felt I was just near a finalisation of the job but soon felt disappointed to see that nothing tangible appeared on the surface. I felt utterly disappointed on my inability to  make the desired use of the plenty of literature that has been made available for the benefit of bloggers by the Google. I have, however, not yet given up my hope making a note to see that at some stage or the other I have to succeed in overcoming the task.

Technorati Tags: blogging,blog,task

Case of a sheer witch hunting

In a corruption laden society like we have there are troubles emerging at every step and no consumer can help coming out of them howsoever best he tries. Financed by State Bank of India I own a house in State Bank Colony, Ratanlal Nagar, Kanpur with an electric meter for the last more than three decades. Payments of the relative electricity bills paid regularly without fail there was not even an exception ever on that count. Only some time back it was noticed that the meter reading had gone much low with the relative bill unusually showing too small an amount. Necessary complaint was lodged with the KESCO (Kanpur Electricity Supply Co.Ltd) immediately but there was no action taken by them. When the matter was followed up further they got irritated and a team of theirs barged into my house trying to find some fault or the other attributing the same as if some thing wrong was there at my end itself. Without hearing my family members in the  matter they hurriedly prepared a bill for Rs.36,000/ as one time settlement besides the cost of new meter to be paid separately. Necessary cheque had to be given to them of course without prejudice to our version of the explanation.They in fact wanted some gratification (obviously illegal) in terms of money which was denied to them point blank with the result that a few days later they called again raising a further  demand of Rs.86,000/by way of arrears as they said. Why arrears is the question as there was already a one time settlement. The moot point remains that all this was happening as they were not obliged with the payment they wanted by way of necessary bribe, a routine culture as they take it. I realise that the job could have been much easier if they were suitably obliged which of course was not done as a matter of conviction. In a country like ours one has to suffer and pay the price for whatever are his convictions.

Technorati Tags: corruption,conviction,bribe,society

Back to blogging

Back long enough I had stopped blogging for the reason that it looked to be somewhat cumbersome to me and that it didn’t prove remunerative enough to keep me attracted to it. Realising later that if the venture was not that much result oriented it was none else but  myself to blame as possibly I was not able to spare necessary amount of time required for the purpose. Looking back to my association with Socialspark with whom I had developed a close relationship in course of my dealings with them, I felt within myself as if it was a rapport much worth continuing. It formed some amount of temptation in me which I felt I was unable to resist, hence this resumption. Resuming the task undoubtedly falls in the midst of several complicated formalities but they are after all an integral part of any challenge that is undertaken.Thanks to Socialspark and also Google whose platform I have been using for  my blogs.

Online disasters

Safe it is as it is said to record relevant materials online but it doesn’t hold good always. I find myself at a loss to know that number of blog sites I created with different IDs are no more available online as they are either just untraceable or are put to an end by the host sites themselves reasons of which are not known to me except that there was no operations in the accounts for quite a long time. Possibly necessary record maintained off line elsewhere in a manual order is more safe. In any case I feel so disheartened at the experience.

In the new year

Monday, January 03, 2011: Too chilly a weather it is for the last few days looking like things are freezing all around. Chilly winds on date remind me of the weather as it stood just a year back when people in SBISA particularly led by Vijai Awasthi and Anil Jauhary celebrated the day as my Platinum Jubilee based on official record of my birth day i.e. 2nd January’1935 at Farrukhabad. Instead of 2nd January it was observed on the 3rd January to suit the convenience of the organizers and the participants. Despite very bad a weather the event was attended by the people at a very large scale. I feel alright healh wise in the new year. There are ofcourse certain instances in a way striking a note on my advancing age. This morning while heading towards dining table to pick up the news papers of date I felt I was badly oblivious of my surroundings and didn’t at all notice that Disha, my daughter inlaw, was sitting there going through the news papers. This I could notice only when I got too close to her. A tendency of getting unduly suspicious on health points as I have I took it as some thing like a derailed mind. I quite know that it was the case of usual mental slips very common in an individual’s routine but some where there is a lurking thought as if the slip was an outcome of my advancing age which may not be a factual state of my health conditions and in no way it carries any alarming signal relating to my age as it stands on date.

Ring in the new

Friday, December 31, 2010: It’s the year end now like it always happens –the year like any thing in the universe comes like a child and passes off like an old person as if it is just a routine ritual in the hands of the Nature. Nothing stays till eternity. On an average the year 2010 has been a better one except that I had to continuously offer resistance against some ailment or the other. The reason as to why I develop like my whole body system sinking with too vague an uneasiness quite often continues to be undiagnosed. My doctors only failed on that count. This ailment struck me like a bout of attack day before when I was on my usual walk in Shriram Park when it became a horrible task for me to drive home back and this was a period I had to count moment by moment. My will power helped me to some how reach Tapovan back. I had no option but to resort to ‘Placida’, a tablet I had stopped taking nearly a week back as an experiment. I resumed it since yesterday morning and after the second doze of it today I find some improvement now but, most intriguing a question as it is, how long I can depend on it. It may after all have its own side effects. My doctor for the purpose Vishal Chopra says in his usual style of vagueness that I can take it safely on a regular footing. Bachhey continues to suffer from low blood pressure and for this too the doctors are helpless to suggest any effective remedy. I continue feeling badly disturbed. On financial stringency on domestic needs I failed to secure any alternative remedy on this count this year too but could manage the needs some how. Yoga has helped me a lot to keep my other physical faculties intact till now enabling me to still look forward with confidence to a better tomorrow. I don’t know how and to what extent this optimism of mine will hold good in the new year starting from the mid night today.
N.B. The usual site for 'mydiary' is my blog 'Scenario' where operations are restricted by the Google, hence the venue is shifted to this blog 'Destination' ofcourse as a measure of trial. I have yet to take a final decision in the matter.

My Diary, my companian

As I have been feeling from time to tome and still nourish an inclination that way, writing my diary is more a matter of inter action than a routine jotting. I have since taken a view that I should be back to writing my Diary if not quite regularly atleast as and when so needed. My Diary, before I made up my mind not to adhere to it as a sort of routine because of certain situations tremendously telling upon my mental faculties, did work as a source of interaction. This source I felt like missing all these days. Cursory notings made on some dates or the other in the files like PARKING.txt, DIARY.txt, etc shall however be the parts to precede MYDIARY.doc or better would be to re-edit them with a view to regularising the same.

Technorati Tags: routine, jotting, companian

What piercingly pinching a day is this?

From MyDiary: (10/06/2007)

This day I was married to Sundari (name later changed to Shashi by Bela Ben at Varanasi -I called her Kammoji). What kind of marriage anniversary it is for me without Shashi who left me alone 4 years back –matter of 4 years looking like it was some thing that happened only yesterday. Her face, her looks, her charm, her getup everything is so vividly visible to my eyes. Alone and single, my union with her for decades looks to be too small compared to these 4 years I have passed without her. Only the other day, my daughter Pariksha was murmuring in her dreams ‘Mummy, Mummy’ and how pathetically pinching it was to me every moment thereafte. I could not sleep the whole night. Bachhey (Pariksha) normally doesn’t talk much about her Mummy otherwise, may be because she may not be able to express herself fully like normal people do but how deep is the thought of her mother in her mind that it has got so strongly fixed in her sub consciousness which comes out as her immediate thought during sleep. Alone am I, alone I live on, alone am I in taking care for Bachhey in a dual role as a father, as a mother. The very thought of her life without me with the fear of the unknown always in my mind terribly shatters me, more so as I have none around to share the situation. Infact it is for Bachhey that I am so much cautious about my health as to the extent it is left to me I would like to survive the maximum for her leaving the rest to the Immanent Will that is supreme and ultimate.